The end of the tuna can and start of the hamster wheel

Today Christina traded in her beloved 2006 Honda Civic (the tuna can) for a God awful color 2010 Kia Soul (the hamster wheel). I think its a cute little car for hamsters, and it may be a great car but the color will take some getting used to after the nice blue of the Honda. My perception is clouded by the Kia commercial, I prefer a little taller, bigger, heavier 4x4 type trucks/SUV's.. probably 'cause I'm a little taller, bigger, heavier 4x4 type guy. (Hint the 2008 Jeep Commander is mine)

I post all of this mostly 'cause I think she made a good deal, for a newer car and I didn't have to spend half my Saturday in a car showroom feeling like I wanted to hurt a salesman. Good job Christina!

Stay tuned the adventures of the hamster wheel have just started.....

Music and my soul

Music is a world within itself
With a language we all understand
With an equal opportunity
For all to sing, dance and clap their hands

Sir Duke - Stevie Wonder

Have you ever heard a song and it speaks to you.. I don't mean "Wow I like that tune" I mean a song that reaches inside and speaks directly to your heart and soul?

There are songs that reduce me tears when I hear them, they touch me on such a level that I almost feel like God is touching me thru the music.

One of the groups that has this effect on me, Petra, I had the privilege of seeing in concert and met years ago when they were on tour here in Portland with Josh McDowell. I hear their music and it leaves me breathless and almost in pain with an emptiness words don't express. One of my favorites is Creed give it listen and tell me what you think.

I believe in God the Father - maker of heaven and earth
And in Jesus Christ His only Son
I believe in the virgin birth
I believe in the Man of Sorrows bruised for iniquities
I believe in the Lamb who was
crucified and hung between two thieves

I believe in the resurrection on the
third and glorious day
And I believe in the empty tomb and the
stone that the angel rolled away
He descended and set the captives free
And now He sits at God's right hand
and prepares a place for me

Creed ...

Another and more personal artist is Lauren Talley of the Talley Trio, some of her music is to me so intense and personal I sometimes hesitate to play it. I've had a shortcut to the song Testify on my desktop for years and love the song for what it says.

That said I don't listen to just Christina music, in fact I listen to almost anything that catches my interest from AC/DC, to country to my current playlist that is loaded with Cee-Lo Green.

I remember sitting in church in boot camp listening to the hymns and feeling like something was missing .. religion has never been a big part of my life even when church was. I went for the "fellowship" more than anything else, but have felt God's hand on me from time to time and envied people I know who seem "filled with the holy spirit."

I'm not sure I know where this is leading since I write from the cuff so to speak and this blog is called Ramblings of an Empty Mind.

I know something is missing from my life; that I have tried to fill it with other things over MANY years, but as I approach 50 years of age I am actively seeking out that which is missing. Is it music? a more personal relationship with God? more time spent with my son and daughter? or just simply learning to be content with my life for once.

I don't know yet and perhaps never will; but think the secret is in the journey not the destination.

The Final Inspection

The Marine stood and faced his God,

Which must always come to pass

He hoped his shoes were shining bright,

Just as brightly as his brass

"Step forward now, Marine,

How shall I deal with you?

Have you turned the other cheek?

To my church have you been true?"

The Marine squared his shoulders and said,

" No Lord, I guess I ain't.

Because those of us who carry guns

Can't always be a saint.

I've had to work most Sundays,

And at times my talk was rough,

Because the world is awfully tough.

But, I never took a thing

That wasn't mine to keep...

Though I worked a lot of overtime

When the bills got just too steep,

And I never passed a cry for help,

Though at times I shook with fear,

And sometimes, God forgive me,

I've wept unmanly tears.

I know I don't deserve a place

Among the People here,

They never wanted me around

Except to calm their fears.

If you've a place for me here, Lord

It needn't be so grand,

I never expected or had too much,

But if you don't I'll understand."

There was a silence all around the throne

Where the saints often trod

As the Marine waited quietly,

For the judgment of his God.

"Step forward now, Marine,

You've borne your burdens well,

Come walk peacefully on Heaven's streets,

You've done your time in Hell

author unknown

Off to a Bad Start

Well Jordan called home last week and started off the conversation with "Dad I got in trouble, and got an article 15" as the conversation progressed he told me that he'd gotten into a fight with someone in his platoon and that they've both been punished. His punishment included being recycled back six weeks in his training . This isn't altogether a bad thing, as it happens from time to time, that it does mean that it could jeopardize his been stationed at Fort Lewis in Washington state. He also lost rank, seven days' pay, and is on restriction for fourteen days .

I asked how he felt about the whole situation, he responded 'he was disappointed with himself for losing his temper but it is what it is and he will learn from it.'

I am of course disappointed that it happened but am proud of his taking ownership of his error, not something that would have occurred even a year or so ago.

In the grand scheme of things an article 15 isn't the worst thing to have happen, but it surely isn't the greatest either.

My DI's while in boot camp used to say "if you ain't got a captains mass (article 15) on you record once when you get out you ain't done shit in this mans Marine Corps."

I stood tall before the man for Captains Mass in my 3rd year in for something well deserved, certainly not not the worst thing I had done just what I got caught at, and suffered 10 days of additional duties for my stupidity.

All in all a learning experience that I hope Jordan doesn't repeat.

Its New Years eve and the minutes are slowly ticking by until a new year starts...

Its New Years eve and the minutes are slowly ticking by until a new year starts.... Jordan just came by to get his boots, he leaves tomorrow @ 0600 to return to boot camp and training. Christina & company are having fun in Disneyland, and I volunteered to work today. It seems everyone celebrates the New Year in different ways, some go out to party, some same have parties at home, I decided to stay off the roads and watch TV. Tomorrw Grandma Betty, Mom, Shirley, Jamie and the girls will have brunch and enjoy the start of a new year. It wont seem quite complete with out Jordan, I've gotten used to having him around this last week or so. I will miss him.

Another Christmas in the books

Well the presents have been opened, the cookies eaten, the kids tucked in. Another Christmas in the books, this one had special meaning for me, all that remains is to stuff the wrapping paper and tinsel in the trash bin. We might have to leave a bit for the cat to play with. My grandmother, who turns 87 today, my mother, Aunt, cousins were all present. Christina, Tamara, Cassie and Jordan were also there, and in a very real sense so was my grandfather, who passed away in 2002. My grandmother reduced my home from Army boot camp son to tears on Christmas Eve by telling him how much Grandpa loved him and how proud he would have been of his enlisting in the Army. Then on Christmas he received my grandfathers gold pocket watch and WWII Army dog tags. This watch was my great grandfathers and handed down to grandpa Ed and now Jordan. The whole family took a time out to wipe the tears.

My grandmother got a new picture of Cassie, my 21 yr old daughter, Jimmy my x-stepson, Jordan in uniform, Tamara, Ashanay and Kya. Only my brothers kids and one cousin were missing. All the grandmothers got individual groupings of thier grand kids. Between my mother and Aunt I think they bought out the eBay jewelry store. I got a new color laser printer, a Nook e-book reader and a bathroom makeover.

I hope Christmas found you with family and friends. Look forward to the New Year and rejoice in the blessing we have but all to often take for granted.